This week marked a major milestone in our household: my daughter turned nine. But instead of our usual morning routine, I spent her birthday driving up into the beautiful Italian Alps. She is currently away on a basketball summer camp with her team, and while parents aren't usually hovering around, I was granted a special dispensation to drop by and deliver a birthday cake for the whole squad.
Seeing her thrive in that environment—surrounded by friends, completely independent, and deeply engrossed in her sport—sparked a conversation I seem to have constantly with other parents.
"Isn't nine a bit too young?" they ask. Many parents I speak with tell me they wouldn't dream of letting their kids go to a sleepaway camp just yet. The idea of a week away, navigating the world without a parent nearby to manage the day-to-day, seems daunting.
But my daughter is actually a veteran at this. She did two weeks away last summer when she was just eight, and she loved every single minute of it. She didn't call home crying; she called home entirely too busy to talk to me.
I suppose this kind of early independence runs in the blood. Whenever I hear modern debates about childhood readiness, my mind always drifts back to my own youth. I was a child in the early 1960s, a time when parenting philosophies were, let’s say, a little different. By the time I was five years old, I was already spending at least a month away from my family every single summer. It wasn't considered radical or dangerous; it was simply what we did.
So when other parents look at me, the older dad, and ask how on earth I survive the separation anxiety of letting my nine-year-old go off to the mountains, I can’t help but smile. It’s natural to worry, of course. We all want to protect our kids. But looking at her confidence today, and remembering my own at that age, it brings a very specific question to mind.
(Video Transcript Follows) Is nine years old too young to leave home for a week? A lot of parents tell me they wouldn't dream of letting their kids go to a sleepaway camp yet. But this week, my daughter turned nine while at a basketball summer camp up in the Alps. Since it was her birthday, I got special dispensation to drive up and deliver a cake to the team. She’s a veteran at this, though. She did two weeks away last year when she was just eight, and loved every minute. I guess it runs in the blood. When I was a kid in the early sixties, I started spending a month away from my family every summer. And I was five. So when people ask how I survive the separation anxiety, I have to wonder... Is it the kids who aren't ready, or is it the parents?