If you listen to any modern child psychologist or parenting "influencer," the message is loud and clear: Let your children be bored. They tell us that boredom is the crucible of creativity, the moment when a child’s mind finally stops consuming and starts inventing.
As a man born in May 1956, I should be the poster child for this movement. I grew up in an Italy where "scheduled activities" didn't exist. My childhood was defined by long, dusty afternoons where the only thing on the agenda was figuring out what to do next. I value that silence. I believe in its power.
And yet, here I am at 69, a single father to a brilliant, high-energy 8-year-old girl, and I have become a massive hypocrite.
The Corporate Schedule of a 3rd Grader
My daughter is currently in her third year of primary school (terza elementare) here in Milan. Between the hours of 8:30 am and 4:30 pm, she is a dedicated student. But the real "work" begins when the school bell rings.
Our weekly calendar looks less like a childhood and more like a high-stakes corporate retreat. From Monday to Saturday, we are a blur of motion:
- Sports: Basketball, tennis (with weekend tournaments), and swimming.
- The Arts: Musical theatre and art classes.
- Music: Piano practice and lessons.
By the time I finish my own workday—managing my wine school, AccademiaVino, or teaching late-night spirits classes—I am exhausted just looking at her sneakers.
Why Do We Do It?
Why does a man who values the "slow life" and 20 years of Linux-driven simplicity succumb to the over-scheduling trap? It’s the "Opportunity Anxiety." As an older father, I am hyper-aware of the world she is growing into. I want her to find her "spark." If she never tries the piano, how will she know she loves it? If she doesn't hit the tennis court, how will she discover her competitive spirit?
The irony isn't lost on me. While I’m teaching wine students about the importance of terroir and patience, I’m rushing my daughter from the basketball court to a theatre rehearsal. The only person in our household who actually gets to experience "boredom" is the babysitter who waits at home while I'm out teaching.
Finding the Middle Ground
I recently resumed the 5BX fitness program—a relic of my youth—to keep up with this pace. It reminds me that structure is good, but intensity must be balanced. We are planning to return to the hiking trails soon, trading the tennis court for the silence of the Italian Alps. Perhaps there, in the thin air of the mountains, we’ll find that boredom I keep hearing about.
What about you? Are you a "boredom advocate" who actually manages to keep the calendar clear, or are you a fellow hypocrite running a private taxi service for your kids?